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[征文作品] 【色城2011同人与续写（Ｂ）】【步步生莲改编】1月10日93楼更新- gbluma 授权代发

zgyzy

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1楼 大 中 小 发表于 2013-3-15 12:57  显示全部帖子
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写得不错，内容设计得也很好，但是情节发展太快，缺少必要的连接，心理描写上欠缺了一些，期待更新！
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  • 第三马甲 金币 +2 认真回复，奖励！ 2013-3-15 13:29

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